Ok, I cracked

Today was the second birthday party of one of my nephews. There were a bunch of babies and toddlers there, and at one point as I was watching one of my sisters with her little baby, I felt such an urge to go pick up my baby for a cuddle. I'd half turned to look for him and almost put out my arms to pick him up. Then I remembered that I don't actually have a baby, lol. This probably sounds really sad and depressing, but it was just odd rather than upsetting. Although for some reason I then didn't feel comfortable picking up any of the actual babies, which I usually rush to do.

On the way home, I went to the chemist to buy a test since they'll be closed on Sunday, but there was a mix-up and they sold me a Clearblue instead of a First Response (Clearblue doesn't work as far in advance). Since I got two tests, I decided on impulse to use one of them, even though I knew it was too early, especially with this brand. It was negative, of course, but I'm really not too bothered -- I would have been amazed to get a positive result.

I'm less sick today, and I honestly don't know how to feel about that... anyway, I'll test again in a few days.

One week down, one to go

So, I estimate I'm at 8dpo. There's been no spotting, and some cramps; like I said, it's pretty common for me to have cramps at this point in a cycle. I haven't been feeling very well since Saturday, but I can't figure out if it could be early pregnancy symptoms or if I'm just sick, haha.

I'd planned to hold off on testing until the middle of next week, but I may crack and get a First Response sooner than that. We'll see.

Our first two-week wait

So: we're back from our honeymoon, which was awesome. And now we settle down to see if I'm pregnant or not... which is weird.

I'm paying close attention for any possible signs of implantation, which I think would be happening in the next couple of days. (Slightly complicated by the fact that I usually get a good deal of cramping throughout the second half of my cycle anyway.) I know there wouldn't necessarily be any sign, and if I don't have anything, that doesn't mean things haven't worked -- but I'm hoping for some spotting or something, just to ease the suspense a little.

It's the oddest feeling, not knowing if there's anything in there or not. I was so careful the last few days of the honeymoon not to eat anything risky, not to take any medications that might cause problems, and it was weird to think I was taking these precautions for the benefit of a baby that might not exist at all. Right now something is happening inside of me, but I have no idea if it's the same old process of degeneration that's happened every month for years, or something altogether new and miraculous.

This is it

So, I have just started a new cycle. And we are about to get married (woot!); and I'm due to ovulate towards the end of our honeymoon. We had originally intended to wait a little longer before we started trying to conceive, and maybe fit in another holiday later this summer before we had to worry about me potentially travelling while pregnant, but we eventually decided we just don't want to wait any more. We've wanted a baby almost as long as we've been together, and we are ready to get this show on the road!

So this will be our first cycle of actually trying. I'm excited, but trying not to get my hopes up too much, because I know statistically it's unlikely to happen the first time. But still, there's a chance; and anything that brings us one step closer to making this baby a reality is pretty great in my book.

This will probably be my last post until we get home from the honeymoon... so, bye for now!