Monday, June 28, 2010

7w 4d: but on the plus side, I'm now extremely busty

To backtrack a little: I spent the time from age 15 to age 22 on the Pill. I still feel angry when I think about those years, which should have been some of the best of my life, and instead passed in a haze. I was often depressed -- sometimes severely -- and just couldn't handle the challenges of ordinary life. I thought that was just my personality, until I finally came off the Pill. It was like waking from a nightmare, and I never looked back. There have been bad days since then, but nothing on that scale.

So, you know the way the Pill works by simulating the hormones of pregnancy?


These hormones just don't agree with me. I'm not as bad as I was back in those days, but I've been steadily getting more depressed for a few weeks now. Everyone says it will get better in the second trimester, and I'm just waiting for the days to pass. I was hesitant to write about feeling this way, because I know how lucky I was to get pregnant so quickly, and I don't mean to seem ungrateful, but it just wouldn't be honest of me to pretend everything is fine. I am, at least, experienced enough to recognise these feelings for what they are and to ask the people around me for help. But mostly it's just a case of waiting it out.

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