Final update!

Wow, I can't believe so much time has passed since my last post! I'll just write this one quickly because my baby is napping...

Short version: everything went well and I had a girl!

Longer version: the induction was... somewhat difficult. It took a long time for things to get going, but I was having painful contractions from the start. The whole thing took 24 hours from start to finish. I was SO glad I got an epidural! I am also still glad I was induced -- I was more than ready for the pregnancy to be over. And I was so surprised to have a girl!

The first few weeks were horrible. I tried to breastfeed but had to stop because she was latching wrongly and the pain was unbearable. I was so anxious about her all the time, and never felt like I knew what I was doing. But eventually things got easier and we are much more confident with her now. She sleeps pretty well and is growing fast. She's developing new skills all the time and is lots of fun to play with.

I think this is probably going to be my last post for the time being. As you can see from the huge gap in updates, I don't have a lot of time these days, and this feels like a natural place to stop. I've enjoyed keeping this blog, but I think it has served its purpose.

Thanks to those of you who've read and commented!

40w1d: Tomorrow!

Well, here we are. I was at the doctor's on Monday, he did a membrane sweep in hopes that it would get things started. There was some progress over the last few days, but I'm still pregnant, so I can't really say it worked per se :P

So I'm getting induced tomorrow. I know some people really don't like the idea of inductions, but I'm very sure that this is the right choice for me. I have been so anxious throughout this pregnancy, and when things have gone wrong for two of my sisters right at full term, this is a scary time. Being induced will put an end to the waiting and the uncertainty, and the idea of being under medical supervision right from the start of labour is very reassuring to me. Choosing this induction is my way of taking charge of things, just a little bit.

I'd like to say that I spent my last day of non-motherhood doing something necessary or meaningful or gloriously self-indulgent, but I am so tired and achy that I'm taking things pretty easy, chilling out on the couch and feeling my baby wiggling around. It's weird to think my pregnancy is almost over after all this time, and it's tremendously weird to be excited about gory, painful, embarrassing things happening to me. But I can't wait!

35w 5d: prelabour and getting ready

So, I'm getting to the end. I'm actually feeling better physically than I did a couple of months ago -- I think I've gotten more used to carrying the extra weight, and my iron levels must finally be OK because I don't feel so horribly tired any more. I can feel the baby running out of room; big kicks have been mostly replaced by pokes and fidgets, exactly like someone trying to get comfy in a cramped space. The baby is head-down, but sort of curled up sideways. It still has a bit of time to get into a better position, so I'm trying not to worry.

I am having a lot of Braxton-Hicks these days -- I actually ended up spending a night in hospital last week because they were getting painful and it looked like I might go into labour. But when I failed to produce a baby, they sent me home again :) I've taken this as my warning to start getting ready, though. I've bought most of the stuff for my hospital bag (including some clothes for the baby), I'm picking up a Moses basket from my sister later this week, and we bought a Moby wrap I'd had my eye on for ages. (Now to figure out how to put it on...) I'm also feeling very nesty, and keep going into frenzied bursts of tidying and organising. Which the apartment really needed, so this is no bad thing. It seems like I'm in what the books describe as prelabour, which apparently can last a month or more. I won't be at all surprised if I go before my due date, though... it just feels like things are starting to happen.

I still have worries; my fears of something going wrong with the pregnancy are now being joined by fears about how to actually look after a a baby. I am rather terrified at the idea that they're just going to hand us a baby and we have to take care of it and keep it healthy and happy and I don't feel like I know how to do any of this. But maybe nobody does. Most of the time, though, I'm excited and impatient to meet the baby.

30w1d: still here

Nothing much to report, except that I'm still pregnant and getting rapidly gigantic. I have been pretty anxious, but I'm trying to keep the worrying to a minimum. There are a lot of aches and pains now, and sleeping is getting harder and harder. I'm very much looking forward to February! For various reasons my hospital is going to try and induce me at 39 weeks, and I'm relieved that the pregnancy will be shortened by even a couple of weeks.

I am so looking forward to meeting our tiny person and really starting life as a family. It's strange, this person has been a part of our lives for seven months now, and we still haven't seen their face, don't know if they're a boy or a girl, don't really know anything about them. I'm impatient to get to know my baby.

23w 1d: low-maintenance parenting

I'm quite enjoying this stage of pregnancy.

There are things that make me nervous about taking care of my baby while he (or she) is still inside. Mainly, I can't see him to check up on him; I have to wait for him to kick me so that I know he's ok. Plus, we're sharing a body -- if I get sick, he might get sick too. And little things, like I am starting to get a little tired from carrying this extra weight all the time... at least once he's born, I can put him down sometimes.

But on the other hand, there's so much I don't have to worry about right now! The baby gets fed automatically -- all I have to do is make sure I eat plenty myself. (Not. A. Problem.) I always know where he is. He doesn't cry. I can take him anywhere with me. He pees, but I don't have to do anything about it. He's never too hot or too cold. And yet, I feel more and more aware of the baby's presence -- especially when I'm getting lots of kicks, I don't feel alone even if there's nobody else at home. I'm hanging out with my kid.

So in a way, it's the best of both worlds.

22w0d

So, I haven't been updating here much lately. Since I went public about being pregnant, I've been talking more about it on my personal blog, and on a forum on another site. But I don't want to abandon this one.

The pregnancy is going well. I'm getting lots of kicks, and Don has been able to feel a couple of them too, and can even hear them if he puts his ear to my belly. (I'm a little jealous of that, but I also like that he and the baby can share something that's just between them.) We had the anatomy scan this week, and everything looked good -- it was great to see the baby wiggling around, swallowing and poking his or her tongue out.

I'm feeling ok in myself. There are aches and pains and mind-boggling boob itches, but nothing serious. Overall I'm enjoying pregnancy, which in my first trimester I thought would be impossible. I'm more than halfway through now and can't wait to meet my little person.

19w0d

So it's been a while since I posted here, and this will just be a quick update.

My pregnancy is going fine. But we have had a tragedy in the family; a few weeks ago, one of my sisters lost her baby, at full term.

As you can imagine, it's a difficult time right now.

But I have one little comfort -- I am getting more and more sure that I can feel my baby moving.