40w1d: Tomorrow!

Well, here we are. I was at the doctor's on Monday, he did a membrane sweep in hopes that it would get things started. There was some progress over the last few days, but I'm still pregnant, so I can't really say it worked per se :P

So I'm getting induced tomorrow. I know some people really don't like the idea of inductions, but I'm very sure that this is the right choice for me. I have been so anxious throughout this pregnancy, and when things have gone wrong for two of my sisters right at full term, this is a scary time. Being induced will put an end to the waiting and the uncertainty, and the idea of being under medical supervision right from the start of labour is very reassuring to me. Choosing this induction is my way of taking charge of things, just a little bit.

I'd like to say that I spent my last day of non-motherhood doing something necessary or meaningful or gloriously self-indulgent, but I am so tired and achy that I'm taking things pretty easy, chilling out on the couch and feeling my baby wiggling around. It's weird to think my pregnancy is almost over after all this time, and it's tremendously weird to be excited about gory, painful, embarrassing things happening to me. But I can't wait!

35w 5d: prelabour and getting ready

So, I'm getting to the end. I'm actually feeling better physically than I did a couple of months ago -- I think I've gotten more used to carrying the extra weight, and my iron levels must finally be OK because I don't feel so horribly tired any more. I can feel the baby running out of room; big kicks have been mostly replaced by pokes and fidgets, exactly like someone trying to get comfy in a cramped space. The baby is head-down, but sort of curled up sideways. It still has a bit of time to get into a better position, so I'm trying not to worry.

I am having a lot of Braxton-Hicks these days -- I actually ended up spending a night in hospital last week because they were getting painful and it looked like I might go into labour. But when I failed to produce a baby, they sent me home again :) I've taken this as my warning to start getting ready, though. I've bought most of the stuff for my hospital bag (including some clothes for the baby), I'm picking up a Moses basket from my sister later this week, and we bought a Moby wrap I'd had my eye on for ages. (Now to figure out how to put it on...) I'm also feeling very nesty, and keep going into frenzied bursts of tidying and organising. Which the apartment really needed, so this is no bad thing. It seems like I'm in what the books describe as prelabour, which apparently can last a month or more. I won't be at all surprised if I go before my due date, though... it just feels like things are starting to happen.

I still have worries; my fears of something going wrong with the pregnancy are now being joined by fears about how to actually look after a a baby. I am rather terrified at the idea that they're just going to hand us a baby and we have to take care of it and keep it healthy and happy and I don't feel like I know how to do any of this. But maybe nobody does. Most of the time, though, I'm excited and impatient to meet the baby.

30w1d: still here

Nothing much to report, except that I'm still pregnant and getting rapidly gigantic. I have been pretty anxious, but I'm trying to keep the worrying to a minimum. There are a lot of aches and pains now, and sleeping is getting harder and harder. I'm very much looking forward to February! For various reasons my hospital is going to try and induce me at 39 weeks, and I'm relieved that the pregnancy will be shortened by even a couple of weeks.

I am so looking forward to meeting our tiny person and really starting life as a family. It's strange, this person has been a part of our lives for seven months now, and we still haven't seen their face, don't know if they're a boy or a girl, don't really know anything about them. I'm impatient to get to know my baby.