This is it

So, I have just started a new cycle. And we are about to get married (woot!); and I'm due to ovulate towards the end of our honeymoon. We had originally intended to wait a little longer before we started trying to conceive, and maybe fit in another holiday later this summer before we had to worry about me potentially travelling while pregnant, but we eventually decided we just don't want to wait any more. We've wanted a baby almost as long as we've been together, and we are ready to get this show on the road!

So this will be our first cycle of actually trying. I'm excited, but trying not to get my hopes up too much, because I know statistically it's unlikely to happen the first time. But still, there's a chance; and anything that brings us one step closer to making this baby a reality is pretty great in my book.

This will probably be my last post until we get home from the honeymoon... so, bye for now!

(Grand)baby fever

I have four older siblings, and they all have a few kids of their own, mostly boys, ranging in age from 19 down to a couple of months. This has not stopped my mother from constantly asking for more grandchildren! As I mentioned before, she's commented repeatedly on how my wedding dress gives me room to hide a pregnancy. When my latest nephew was born, she called me up at eight in the morning and announced, "It's another boy! Tell your boyfriend you have to get pregnant right now, and it has to be a girl, and I don't want to hear any excuses!" When I showed her a baby photo of Don recently, the first thing she said was "That's what your babies will look like." Any time I complain of feeling sick or tired, she immediately asks if I'm pregnant... you get the idea.

My dad (who isn't my siblings' bio-dad, and so strictly speaking doesn't have any grandchildren of his own) has kept pretty quiet on this score... up to now. I was at my parents' house during the week for the Seder, which is a big ritual meal held on the first night of Passover. There's a reading during the Seder called the Four Questions, which is traditionally read by the youngest person at the table; so far the youngest person has always been me (my siblings aren't Jewish so they and their children don't come to the meal). Before I started to read the Four Questions this time, my dad suddenly got all emotional, and said that maybe one day soon I wouldn't be the youngest person at the Seder any more. I tried to laugh it off by pretending not to understand, but he insisted, "I mean you might have a baby! Maybe soon!"

My parents may not be subtle, but they are sweet. :)

To the doctor again

The doctor (who looks distractingly like Dr Cameron from House) was back in today, and I went along to talk about my blood tests. They all came back normal, and she doesn't want to send me for any more tests. I worried at her a bit more, but she basically said everything seems fine, and to come back if I'm not pregnant in a year.

I've also been using the tests I bought, and I got an LH surge on Sunday, so... I guess that means I am ovulating. Which is good! (Also, holy crap those things are expensive! The shop only had the digital ones, but if I end up needing these things again, I'm just going to get the old-fashioned kind.)

Plus I got a bit of good news: I'd heard that Ponstan (which pretty much keeps me functioning during lady-times) isn't good to take during pregnancy, and I was afraid I'd have to give it up well before we started trying in case it had long-term effects. But apparently, it breaks down in the body pretty quickly, so I don't need to avoid it until I actually am pregnant. Yay!

So anyway, it's time to stop worrying. The wedding is approaching fast*, and then we'll finally get this show on the road.

*I tried on my dress again the other day, to make sure it looked OK with the shoes I'd picked out. The first thing my mother said when she saw me was "Oh, it has a nice bit of room at the waist. Good, you can get pregnant now and still be able to wear it!" Hm, I guess I know where I get my baby-obsession from.

Pee on a stick

I've been doing some thinking. I can't go back to the doctor for a week, as the GP I want to see only works on Wednesdays, and the surgery is closed tomorrow for St. Patrick's Day. And I was going crazy at the idea of having to sit around waiting to see her, and not getting any closer to finding an answer.

My solution: I bought a box of ovulation tests. I should be ovulating over the coming week, so by the time I go back to the doctor I'll at least be able to tell her whether or not that happened. It may be useful for her in deciding what to do next, and in the meantime it'll make me feel like I'm actually doing something halfway useful. Plus... it's kind of interesting. I'm a biology geek.

(Any time I've had to get a pregnancy test in the past, I've always felt very sheepish buying them. I feel ridiculously grown-up buying ovulation tests instead!)

And yes, I know I said I wouldn't start using these until we'd been trying for a few months. That's still the plan; I'm just using them this one time to make sure I'm actually ovulating. Once I can actually establish that everything's working properly, I'm happy to take a less scientific approach, for the first while at least.

Test results

So, the blood tests all came back normal. On the one hand, this is a good thing, but on the other, I'm still having symptoms and I don't know why. So really, this is no answer at all.

It also seems that having these symptoms when you have normal hormone levels can be associated with infertility.

So... I don't really know how to feel. Back to the doctor, I suppose.

...and back again!

So I went to the doctor this morning. She listened to what I had to say, and she agreed to do a blood test. They're testing for FSH, LH and prolactin, and I should have the results next Tuesday. I'm a lot less stressed now -- it's great to be taken seriously.

Off to the doctor

So, I don't want to get too TMIish about this, but I've been having some odd symptoms for the last couple of years, somewhat consistent with a hormonal imbalance. I went to the doctor back when this started, and was told it was nothing, but the symptoms are getting more noticeable lately. I'm going back to the doctor tomorrow because I really want to get this checked out properly. I know that, while what I'm experiencing isn't necessarily a sign of something wrong, it's certainly not usual, and I'm fairly sure that it can't be deemed normal or abnormal without some kind of investigation.

I am a little worried that it could be something serious, or that it might affect the baby-making plans, but right now what's stressing me out the most is the fear of getting the brush-off from the doctor: "Oh well, you're young, I'm sure it's nothing." "It's not important unless you're trying to have a baby." "I could put you on the Pill if you want.*" "That'll be €50 please." Too often I feel like doctors don't really listen to me; I'm young and I'm nervous, so therefore I must be overreacting or imagining things. And it's horrible to be dismissed like that -- I'm always left wondering what I could have said or done differently to make them take me seriously.

I had a doctor back in college who was really good. He** would listen to my concerns, and whatever was bothering me, he'd tell me what was happening to my body. If he was treating me or referring me onwards, he'd tell me what to expect and why the treatment or referral was appropriate. He always treated me like an equal. I miss him. It's hard to find someone like that.

 Anyway, I will report back tomorrow and tell you how I get on. In the meantime, if anyone has any tips for dealing with doctors, please share!
 
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 *Nothing against the Pill in principle. But I've never been on one that agreed with me, and I've had doctors repeatedly suggest it as a way to cover up all kinds of problems rather than actually trying to address the causes of those problems.
 **Contrary to popular belief, not all male doctors are jerks.